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Thursday, October 20th, 2005
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1:45 pm - I find this somewhat disturbing
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eep!
| You Are Changing Leaves | 
Pretty, but soon dead. |
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| Sunday, September 11th, 2005
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9:49 pm - The up-swing.
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Ok, ok. I'm going to stop "promising" myself to update more frequently because, for one thing, I just keep breaking the promise, and for another, the general pattern seems to be that I update more frequently when things aren't going so well or are just sort of normal and less frequently when I'm having a fantastic time. (hmm... there seems to be a direct correlation between 'having a fantastic time' and not having much extra time to sit in front of my computer. Guess I shouldn't really be surprised at that one.)
That having been said, it is now time for my ( super-ultra-mega-uber update post. )
Friday was Jen's last day at work, so she, Lise and I went for drinks after work on the roof of the Met, along with some other friends of Jen's. It was very pleasant and afterward I met up with Andrea. We ended up at the out-door part of a dive-ish bar, talking and laughing until the wee hours. As always happens after I spend any time with Andrea, my head is swimming with witty advice and also with the possibilities of where to go a year from now... it is deliciously overwhelming.
Yoshi's Sort-of Going Away Party was last night (another outing is to follow later in the week). Amanda went on a baking spree and I introduced Marc to the crew. The party was low-key, the goodies were a hit, and all was well. Today, after a leisurely morning and Dojo-brunch, I roamed around the NYU area and picked over the used book tables for some lucky finds. Reading in the park, a quiet dinner, and more reading brings me up to the present.
And now, it's midnight and I'm exhausted and it's time for bed. Exhausted and happy, especially now that I've written this entry and meandered back through the past 10 days.
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| Wednesday, August 31st, 2005
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4:19 pm - Recently
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And now for a proper-update-posting to remind myself of a lovely weekend and since.
( go! )
Today: Plans for dinner and a show... am in a delicious state of anticipation.
oop! A huge catastrophe has been discovered at work, so now I need to go and help emergency-fix... oy. I don't know how we are going to carry on when Jen leaves.
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| Sunday, August 28th, 2005
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12:04 pm - Fiction is fun...
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Because I was tagged by ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2) catfish23, here is my list of ( 10 fictional characters I would shag )
Amendment: to this list MUST also be added Jesse, of Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. In the former, because of the spur-of-the-moment wild-youthful-engery thing, and in the later because of his sexy, older-but-wiser persona and also the pent-up-passion.
Some of these are the same as others' lists... great minds must lust alike, no?
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| Wednesday, August 24th, 2005
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12:48 pm - "i love grapes!"
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| Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005
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9:28 pm - Purge
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The past few days have been very up-and-down. That seems to be the theme of late.
( of puppies and men... and the up-and-down-days )
pseudobatman gave me a book called The History of Love. It is the kind of book that is poignant and sad and true, and it makes me wish that I were a better writer. I can relate both to the lonely old man who knocks things over on purpose so that people will notice him, and to the store-worker who is annoyed and impatient with the old man for making such a mess of the carefully-constructed displays.
But that is quite enough rambling for tonight. Good grief - I sound like a hyper-introspective and angsty teenager. Oy.
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| Friday, August 19th, 2005
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11:04 am
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This morning on the subway I noticed a man who was looking out of the train window as though he was somewhere else. He was Native American, with beautiful cheekbones and necklaces of wood and stone resting on his tattooed chest. His hair looked freshly shorn and fuzzy, like the down of a baby bird, but he had fully grown eagles inked onto his hands. I though of my distant Osage ancestors. He smiled at me with kind, crinkled eyes before I left the train.
Last night I went to the half-birthday party (really, just an excuse to have a party, and why not?) of 2 co-workers, Sang and Ash. Sang is the guy I went with to see Two Gentlemen. It was a nice time - I met a lot of people who work on the other side of the hall, and now hopefully I won't feel like a total stranger when I have to go over there. I got to practice some German, and talked about the Peace Corps and bangra dancing. Lovely company for the subway ride home.
Today: meet Gautam for coffee and books (YAY!), then after work meeting Mike for farmers market visit, diner-making and hanging out.
It is Friday, and life is good.
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| Thursday, August 18th, 2005
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11:31 am - Shakespeare and Moving-Day: the past week in general
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What a fabulous evening I had last night!!! All the more enjoyable since the day was an up-and-down sort of one.
FYI: Two Gentlemen of Verona in Central Park is BRILLIANT!!!
( Shakespeare in the Park and other parts of yesterday )
( I moved! )
The plan for the weekend is to finish cleaning the place (kitchen and bathroom), get settled into the kitchen and order some good ol' freshdirect so I can start cooking again. Am spending too much money lately on eating out, esp for lunch. Oh the sensory temptation that is Dean&DeLuca!!! So yummy on so many levels... and SO overpriced!! Also this weekend: buy window boxes, potting soil and seeds for planting herbs. Hurrah!
Am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my French-learning program in the mail (to be delivered to Mike's place so as not to draw attention my [illegal] presence in the building, as per the agreement with Yoshi).
Yesterday I had a delightful IM conversation with Mike, in which I tried to convince him of the superiority of autumn as a season to be enjoyed in New York, thereby unwittingly putting myself in a fantastic mood. I forgot how excited I get about autumn – I get these delicious visual montages in my head.... AND, this autumn/winter will feature a new coat for me, since my old one became a casualty of the move (beware the dangers of leather accidentally exposed to packing tape!). Mike conceded to placing autumn as his second-favorite, just below that fleeting part-season between spring and summer (which is my second-favorite).
Wow - this post is long. Oh well, I was feeling talkative this morning.
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| Thursday, August 11th, 2005
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9:34 pm - "The greatest thing... you'll ever learn...."
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When I went down into the subway station on my way home from work tonight, I could hear someone who was rather skilled on an alto saxophone playing the last few bars of "Nature Boy." It was sad and beautiful and hopeful at once. I tried to follow the source of the music, but three trains came in succession as the last note faded, such that even the echo was whipped away.
This made me smile and strengthened the resolve I landed upon this morning.
I found out this evening that my parents have been approved to buy a house! I am really happy for them - it is such a wonderful thing, and something toward which they have been working for a long time. The move is to take place at the end of September, and if all goes according to plan, I will try to make my my time off from work coincide with moving-time so I can help out. Since I will be all settled into my new place by then, being home for the move will probably involve quite some sorting-and-getting-rid of old stuff of mine that is stored at their house, and hauling back to new york only what I really want to keep.
I do love a good cleaning-out... it is unbelievably liberating to get rid of old stuff. The sense of freedom and mobility that follows is like a natural high. (I know I know, I could do with a bit more cleaning out... says the girl who can't seem to change addresses with less than two vehicle-loads)
Random things I have been thinking about:
~ Lasik surgery (does anyone have an opinion/story about this? I'm only just learning about it...)
~ Moving sooner than expected if at all possible
~ Starting up with French once I move
~ What I am going to do a year from now (and especially, WHERE am I going to do it and in what delicious ways am I going to plot and scheme and live my NYC existence in the meantime?)
I spent a very pleasant evening in Mike's company after work yesterday. We haunted Union Square, eating at Zen Palate and then poking around in Barnes&Noble and then the Strand. Mike informed me that he was "utterly overwhelmed" by the Strand. I must say, since I was last there their lighting as well as their array of merchandise is much improved. Does anyone know how often per week the Union Square Farmer's Market sets up? The honeycrisp apples and fresh-cut sunflowers were calling to me.
Note: the book Delaying the Real World by Colleen Kinder ought to be Number One on the Corporate Slave-driver's Banned Book List, if such a thing existed. It is a fun read, highly inspiring, and very much nourishing this little travel bug I seem to have been born with. (On the equivalent list of Banned Movies, "L'auberge Espagnole" would be pretty high up there... and I am now the happy owner of that as well. hee)
To westerly, fantasmagoria and maymaym: you are heartily missed and thought of often.
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| Thursday, August 4th, 2005
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4:38 pm - Aphrodite
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I adore Isabel Allende. Her prose is deliciously irreverent and sensual. I am currently rereading Aphrodite, A Memoir of the Senses, and it makes me smile mischievously and occasionally laugh out loud on the subway (much to the apparent perplexity of my fellow-riders).
This is my favorite quote thus far (actually quoted by her from a work called The Perfumed Garden):
Woman is like a fruit which will only yield it's fragrance when rubbed by the hands. Take for example the basil: unless it be warmed by the fingers, it emits no perfume. And do you know that unless amber is warmed and manipulated it retains it's aroma within? The same with women: if you do not animate her with your frolics and kisses, with nibbling of her thighs and close embraces, you will not obtain what you desire: you will experience no pleasure when she shares your couch and she will feel no affection for you.
Another good one:
A woman in love cares nothing for what a man says... only what he murmurs.
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| Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005
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5:28 pm - Things.
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La la la... what a lovely weekend. And once again I find myself not writing about it till halfway into the following week.
Oh well.
E's show (Friday was opening) was fantastic!!! I was glad that there was a good turnout for opening night. Friday ended up being a rather crazy day for me... gotta love the whole buy-my-clothes-and-hair-clips-for-the-day-first-thing-in-the-morning-before-work-because-I-didn't-go-home-the-night-before spiel. It's not so bad, I guess... that was only the second time I've ever had to do that. I rather needed new jeans anyway. (and, imagine my shock and delight when I found not one, but TWO pairs of jeans that fit properly - with no above-the-ass-gap!!! JOY!!) And I found a really nice blazer/jacket at H&M... (Sara was not at all surprised at my color selection)
Anyway...
The later afternoon of Friday saw me frantically running to the art store a few blocks away to buy materials for Measure's "Intermission" sign, which I then made at work before dashing to the subway. Lovely lovely people were there for the show (plus one "ugh"), and we laid around on blankets and ate dried mango (compliments of Mei) and 'sku'-ed E whenever an annoyingly loud plane/motorcycle/etc went by.
Business cards = a beautiful thing. I am sooo excited to have them!!!! And they look SO GREAT!!!
There was a lovely post-show diner outing, followed by adventures on the subway ride home.
Em's party was Saturday night, and was verymuchfun indeed. Hurrah for group tequila shots with the freshly legal!! The Sandcastle Cake was really something to behold - truly an epic narrative. Hats off to moonlightalice, cake artiste extraordinaire.
Sunday saw errands and outings. (I grin as I write)
Monday, back to work, but with an evening to look forward to.
Yesterday – love to fantasmagoria, maymaym, catfish23, and westerly for trekking all the way out to the ends of the earth to visit my place before I move again!! (and healing wishes to Jen, poor thing!!) I was sooo happy to see everyone! Over sushi and French Silk, we laughed at the craziness that is Bollywood (or even semi-bollywood). 'Twas warm-and-fuzzy. (but then I realized after they had left that every one of the evening's attendees is about to leave me for various [entirely too lengthy] lengths of time!!! Booo!!! ::pout:: Boooooooo, I say!!!)
And now I'm updating from work (mentally slapping myself on the wrist)... but seeing as how I finished my last task MUCH earlier than Jen expected, I think I can take a few minutes, no?
Also, I have the nagging urge to learn French. It has been coming on for quite a while now... and it doesn't seem to want to go away. I wonder how useful it would be to try and learn it on my own with a book and tapes or something... (a small voice is telling me to get my German up to an age-appropriate level before I go careening westward across Alsace-Lorraine, but still)
I think I can sense things shifting... as though I am reconnecting with my enjoyment of my senses. I have always known that this is where I belong, in the realm of smell and touch especially, but something had been clouded over lately. Now I feel as though I am slowly waking up... after functioning through a haze for far too long.
Ripe strawberries are a gift from the divine.
I want to start cooking again. I mean really cooking. And I want to grow herbs so I can run my hands through them. .... I can't wait to move.
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| Monday, August 1st, 2005
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6:34 pm - hee
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A quick note from a new place.
This is to make me smile later.
More to come.
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| Thursday, July 28th, 2005
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11:43 am - Where does the time go?
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Ok – let’s see if we can try this weekend-up-date thing again, shall we?
( Round 2 )
Yesterday I left work at 6 to go to a “German event” with a co-worker, whose initial suspicion that I speak German was based solely on my last name. It was a little strange, but enjoyable. Apparently this German-interest group (yahoo-based) gets together every other week or so for a German movie or an evening at a biergarten. Last night we had dinner at Café Mozart (I congratulate myself on my extreme self-control in the face of Vesuvius Cake... I had only a single scoop of vanilla ice cream for dessert, and this following a salad for dinner) and then saw the film “The Edukators” at Lincoln Center Cinema (German title “Die Fetten Jahre sind forbei”). The film was quite good – highly recommended to all. It had a very “Damn the Man” theme. I developed a slight but immediate crush on the lead actor (“Jan”). I was also extremely pleased at the fact that I didn’t need the subtitles at all. The German spoken in the film was the type of everyday slang/street German that I learned and find easiest to understand.
Today I have a meeting scheduled with Professor Dehejia and the next 6 days look to be jammed packed.
Good times.
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| Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
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2:56 pm - Sarah: 1 Printer: 0
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ha HA!
... and I just successfully changed my first ever color cartridge on the scary, ginormous office color-printer - all by myself.
I win.
(My life is riveting, I know. Don't you wish you were me??)
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2:11 pm - GAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHRRGH!!!!
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Ok... ::breathe::
I just finished writing this whole big long entry all about my weekend and etc., and then I went to open another document in word, and when I toggled back over to the doc with the entry, it was all messed up! It looked like all the letters in all the paragraphs had colapsed into two or three character-spaces... these were all filled in with black and random squiggles, making it looked like all the letters were piled on top of each other now. And there was one little pile per paragraph! I tried teasing them back apart, but nothing worked!
Has this ever happened to anyone else?
Very weird. The other doc I opened had pictures in it... maybe that had something to do with it...?
::grumble grumble::
It must be bad karma for updating while at work. (although I do it efficiently - I keep a word doc open and just add to it throughout the day when I have downtime... but still...)
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| Wednesday, July 20th, 2005
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5:17 pm - Notes from the Subway
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I saw the following things on the subway ride to work this morning. They made me smile and thereby improved a day which otherwise had all the markings of lousy.
~ A woman sat aboard the train, reading a tattered book. She was absolutely stunning, and she had no idea about it. She wore a simple black shift dress, no jewelry or make-up, and her dark hair was pulled back in a low, messy bun at the nape of her graceful neck. Her lips looked like a sunset and her eyes were mysterious and dark-lashed.
~ Someone had made an origami ball out of metro cards and set it, like a present, on the outside window ledge of the MTA workers’ booth.
~ The man across from me was a remarkably complete vision of the 1950s. He was tall and, though not older than 40, parted his hair on the side, just like my grandfather in a picture I once saw. He wore a seersucker suit with a light brown gingham print, a modest silk tie, and medium brown leather shoes. His glasses were round with gold wire frames and his cufflinks glinted in the morning sun when the train went above ground. He carried an old-fashioned leather briefcase (it looked almost like a doctor’s bag) of the same color as his shoes. The finishing touch was the Times he was reading: the picture on the back (which faced me) must have been an old one because it depicted a president behind a podium, with his wife and small children to one side and all dressed in 50s style clothing. The man smiled kindly at me as he left the train.
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| Monday, July 18th, 2005
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6:00 pm - Also...
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I am getting over being rather ill for the past 48-odd hours. I think this is a lesson for me in pride and stubborn independence. Having had a disastrous last month at the bar and having missed (by an afternoon) the first pay-cycle at my new job, AND having scraped the money together to pay my rent 10 days late and with 8 dollars to spare in my checking account... I was broke. I mean really, flat-out, rummaging-for-change-in-the-couch-cushions broke. I have discovered, in my intermittent therapy experience, that I apparently have 'money-related hang-ups.' As in, I detest asking others for money. Ever. It was even irksome to me to ask my parents to pay their part for college (which of course they did gladly and without even being asked). I have had a job of some form or another almost continually since I was 15... because I like the feeling of independence that it gives me. Back then, it was about not having to bug my parents when I wanted something. And I have always been a saver, even if there was no particular goal in sight.
Especially since starting college, I have been fierce about not needing anyone's help in providing for myself in all ways that weren't covered by school (i.e. I paid for my own board and expenses, but housing was part of 'school').
But getting back to my most recent bout with cashlessness, I was in rather a bad way for about two weeks prior to this past weekend. I got meals here and there (through the mercy of friends), and convinced myself that this was ok, this eating-once-a-day thing... I mean, I'm trying to lose weight after all, right? (although, we all know, intellectually, that this is not the way to go about it blahblahblah) So I didn't eat much and refrained from going out, and only accepted a $50 loan from Andrea when she forced the truth out of me and point-blank insisted that I take the money. And then I remembered I owed someone else $20 (and I HATE owing people money) so that put me at $30.
Thursday last, I finally cracked from all this, having not eaten in nearly 36 hours. I called my mom and tearfully told her that I had a can of tuna and some crackers in the cupboard, and the day's big decision had been to whether to take that to work for lunch or save it for dinner (I chose dinner). "What the hell is wrong with me???" I almost yelled at her - I just finished an absurdly expensive college education, and I'm not stupid or unemployed, even, so WHY AM I BROKE and WHY AM I THAT WAY MOST OF THE TIME???? She was very wonderful and comforting and understanding... the way she is so well. And she also said that she was sending me money and if I ever let myself get to such a point again when she was only a phone call away, she would beat me senseless and then force-feed me chicken-and-spetzle(german dumplings) until I burst.
I'm not exactly sure what made me sick, but I'm pretty confident that it had something to do with a combination of resuming normal meals again after my body had gotten used to little-to-no-food, plus letting my immune system take a beating from lack of nutrients. Stupid, stupid girl, too proud to ask for help when I needed it. Oy. Lesson: check.
In other news, my brother left earlier today. He came into town for a weekend visit - a visit which, moreover, was carefully planned to coincide with the release of book 6 of Harry Potter. Reading these books is always something we did together, a sort of little tradition for us. Disaster nearly ensued when he missed Friday's last train to NY due to an accident-induced traffic jam. He doesn't often ask for much, my little brother, so when my parents saw how bummed he was to miss the big release party here with me, they promptly piled into the car and drove him up here that very evening. It turned out to be better all around - I got to see Mom, Dad, and Aunt Jill, and all were able to participate in the Harry-Potter-mania-night. We spent a giggle-filled evening joking around in line, and then (still lovingly cradling our new volumes) lounging around their hotel room daring each other to try the gross new flavors of Berty Bott's Every Flavor Beans. Dad nearly gagged on the 'sardine' one (accompanied by quite an amusing grimace) - and a great quote (from Aunt Jill to Jeremy): "Ok - I'm pretty sure this is buttered popcorn... or it could be earwax. Um... you try it."
Saturday we lounged around in the park to read, and (though I started feeling ill about then, and no, I doubt it was to do with the beans - I only had a few) then went to DTUT followed by Thiess' birthday dinner at Lederhosen. And then Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in all its bizarre, technicolor glory. To quote Sara: it was good. But weird. But good.
Yesterday involved more not-feeling-well, but still going up to campus to visit Elissa, which was lovely as I have missed her a lot. By evening, though, it was clear that I needed to lay down and that I had a fever. Fought the urge to vomit and collapse all the way home on the train. Well done me.
Went to bed feeling thoroughly lousy, and woke up today feeling moderately better, but not 100%. Called in sick. Worse things have happened than not going to work on a Monday. Finished Harry Potter last night (it was a great distraction from the nausea). It was excellent and sad and thought-provoking and it made me smile and want to cry at once. I defy anyone to reduce that series to the label of 'children's books.'
Today was a thinking day. And a catching-up sort of day.
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5:10 pm - So many things... new apt, for one
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The biggest news I have to report is as follows: I have entered into an arrangement wherein I will be living in Manhattan for the next full year. I found out that this was going to work last week... Tuesday? But seeing as it was really good news and, despite this fact, I was in no mood to do it justice in a post, I didn't write about it.
But now I am.
It's a bit of a covert operation, if you will. I am subletting from my friend Yoshi, in an arrangement that is very much to our mutual advantage. Part of the deal, however, is that I agree to live there for a full year, which I have. The place is a gorgeous one-bedroom, literally a block away from where Sara and Mei live now (almost on top of the 181st street stop on the A - hurrah for being close to the subway!) After October, I will have the whole place to myself; another part of the deal is that a mutual friend of Yoshi's and mine (Amanda) will continue her current occupation of the living room until the end of October. I feel positive about this, as Amanda is really cool and I have been wanting to get to know her better. She and I will split rent for those 2 months of overlap time. I will be moving in (probably in phases) at the end of August. (future address to come)
Next project: figure out how I am going to get my stuff up to Washington Heights...(avoiding the cost of a U-Haul if I can manage).
It occurred to me, as I was considering all this apartment business, that this sort of thing is very much the opposite of what I had, for a while anyway, been intending to do after graduation. Before the idea of Deux Amis was born, it was my ambition to travel, and end up somewhere where I could get a job teaching english (as per some of my old posts). Now, however, with Deux Amis getting off the ground and a whole new, non-student side of New York to explore, I am pleased with this new turn of events. I am trying to roll with the punches here, and, as has been pointed out to me by people who care about me, it might be a good idea to work for a little while, saving same money along the way, and then travel with that money, instead of the other way around. (the other way around involving taking out a loan in order to get myself set up somewhere, under the presumption that I could probably make the money back pretty quickly, which is not a mistaken presumption, from what I have heard)
But... now I am going to be here. And here is not a bad place to be, I think. The new (ever-changing) plan is now to use this year I have been given (and I really do feel like I have 'been given' it, as this apartment set-up is phenomenal and practically fell into my otherwise desperate lap) to really get Deux Amis up and running and also to figure out what direction I might want to go in, career-wise.
My, but isn't THAT a scary thought. Career. Oy.
The thing is, I am fairly confident that I could potentially be REALLY GOOD at something... something that I thoroughly enjoy and is also satisfying. And something that I could be uniquely good at. The trick now is figuring out what that mysterious something is. And that is always the trick, isn't it? Figuring out that something.
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| Monday, July 11th, 2005
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4:11 pm - Desiring to Kick Some Ass (or at least have the potential if I wanted to)
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After spending about 2 hours Friday evening in joint ranting about the indignity of being the object of leering and gross comments in the streets and on subways, Andrea and I have decided to take a self-defense class together. We exchanged stories of being groped, being followed, being verbally accosted, and so on... all part of the stuff you have to deal with as a woman in this country (and others too! We talked about experiences from all parts of Asia and Europe as well). Andrea even went so far as to say that often being a woman seems worse than being of a minority race (the idea, I guess, being that sexism is much more wide spread and/or openly and frequently expressed than racism). That in the eyes of these leering, narrow-eyed, cat-calling pigs one is reduced to body parts, breasts and crotch... and maybe with the head as a pretty bauble on top. Ugh.
I told her that I had always wanted to take up some kind of martial art again. I was pretty good at judo in high school (took it for 2 years). I don't think that I'm martial or combative by nature, but I enjoy the feeling of strength and confidence that it gives. I would like to get to a point at which I can be fairly sure that if anyone ever tried anything on me, they would come off on the significantly worse end of things and would be sorry they bothered me. Seems like that would be a comforting feeling when walking home late at night.
Andrea agreed and we immediately made plans to start shopping around for a self-defense class when she returns from her long-weekend. If the class seems like a good experience, maybe I'll take up ju-jitsu or something later on... it's fun to think about.
And then, wouldn't you know it... that very night as I was walking home from the subway from Andrea's, this guy started following me!! He kept staring at me and walking really close behind me (even though my route home zig-zags a lot). After a while I got thoroughly creeped out and so called Wayne (roommate) and said (in a clear, rather loud voice), "Hi honey!! Just calling to let you know I got off the subway and should be home any minute now... How was your day?" Wayne was rather confused, but Mr. Creepy turned off onto another street and I got home fine. And of course jumped right onto the computer and started researching courses on How-to-Kick-Creepy-Guy's-Asses.
This incident comes closely on the heels of another one, wherein I got so furious at these two guys that I yelled at them at the top of my voice that they were pathetic scum, that I was in no mood to put up with that kind of shit at 8:20(!!!!) in the morning, and to FUCK OFF. I usually can handle harassment ok – I ignore it and it kinda bounces off like so many moderately irritating flies. But every once in a while, it's just too much and I flip – and that one creep who pushes me over the edge of my patience gets the full blast of the retaliation I've let slide on the previous 20 pervs.
Where do these bastards come from?!?!?
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| Friday, July 8th, 2005
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12:28 pm - Random-ass fact for today
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President Teddy Roosevelt kept (among many other unexpected animals) a zebra at the White House. [according to the educational text-passage I'm currently tagging]
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